Swearing!

[Drakan]

Umnir, you're just like Joe Pesci! Or even our lost but still beloved Mouth!

Interesting replies so far, although admittedly I've yet to read and reply to beasty's thoughts. In truth, despite my first post, I am a casual cusser at best. Every now and again I might put "fuckin'" in a sentence casually, but otherwise I use it more often when I get highly pissed or excited. And when pissed, beep might follow if I'm referring to someone I don't like. The funny thing about Australia is apparently such phrases can also be used affectionately around good company. Or just as a response to someone horsing around (like being farted on).

Now I'm starting to think we don't know how to swear properly down here. Ah, but we do. I guess down here we just don't always use them as "seriously". But then, we tend to take a different approach to things down here it would appear.

[Umnir]

Umnir, you're just like Joe Pesci! Or even our lost but still beloved Mouth!

Where did Joe Pesci disappear?
He put emphasis on cursing so well.

"Your mother sucks big fuckin' elephant dicks, you got that?"

[Panoptic Blur]

Specific to objects, I've started using the terms "impotent" and "misbegotten".

Both actually refer to conditions that were originally biological, but both are clearly biological aberrations and the term thus makes sense in negative use. (Contrast this with terms about urine or feces, both of which may be unhygienic but which are hardly biological aberrations.)

"Impotent" also has the literal meaning of "powerless" so it applies well to an object that has no use whatsoever. My first usage of it was in describing a search engine that kept giving me duff results.

"Misbegotten" is thematically similar to "bastard", but unlike the second term it also has a qualitative sense of "malformed" or "mutated at birth", whereas the term "bastard" is merely an anachronistic carryover from a time when sex out of wedlock carried important legal consequences (and today it generally doesn't). Applied to an instrument or object, it's a harsh commentary on the failure of the craftsman to produce something correctly.

I'm trying out more of these, but all the time I'm trying to stay away from meaningless references to sex, religion, or bodily functions.

[Umnir]

What about degenerate?

[Panoptic Blur]

Ooh, I like that! I haven't used it for objects but for people I have called them "atavistic gibbering degenerates" occasionally.

[Umnir]

Very good sir!

[RedFanatic]

I was facinated by some of the swearing in The Wire, like ShitBird...what dose that even mean???

But even if i'm not really sure about what the fuck it means, I love that one...also Fuck-Nuts and Bastard...(which i sometimes alter to B-Stared or Barstool)

But i have to be honest all of my swearing goes on in my mind, since in the real world i'm completely clean
when swearing audibly i usually make something up or use something from a TV show or sci-fi such as the always appropriate Frak, or slightly less well known TallyWhacker from The Larry Sanders Show.

[Krypto]

I stumbled across the phrase 'Scottish beep' yonder day and it had me in hysterics xD Potentially as it was used in an antithesis situation wheir no aggression was expected.

To reiternate my perspective, I do not consider swear words to be deserving of a unique category, I treat them like any other. The potential tradegy of their essence is the ability to unintentionally stab the ego of another, having them engage in a needless feud. Although that would be anticipated given the derogatory ravished moral integrity and impatience in the west.

[Panoptic Blur]

In Scotland (and in Australia, oddly enough) the word "beep" does not carry as much of a strongly offensive tone as it does in other English speaking places. It's about as offensive as "dick" or sometimes even "schmoe". I've heard my Scottish friends call each others "poor beep" when something bad happens and they're sympathizing with them, which would be almost unheard of in England or the US.

[RedFanatic]

Whats the deal with Twat?

In several american programs it seems to be used as somekind of really serious insult to women, except they pronounce it twot.

Is this just a oddly cleaned up version of beep? or am i totally missing something in the American culture?
Personally i don't find either that insulting, in fact i use Twat often and i consider myself a none swearer, and as far as UK culture goe's it's not more insulting that git, prick or tosser.

[Krypto]

Apparently fanny has two distinct definitions with regards to the U.S and Australia atleast. The former refers to it as the ass, while the latter to the beep. The ensuing attempts to convey humour with the intent of acquiring a set of eyes between tourists, may very well lead to an unintentional controversy

[Panoptic Blur]

Yeah, I've always heard "twat" with a flat "a" sound in British English. In America it's pronounced with an "o" sound and it's considered almost as offensive as "beep".

The Americans also do not consider "twat" to be a verb or adjective. In Britain, to "twat" something means to hit or destroy something. To be "twatted" means to be drunk or drugged off your face.

[Krypto]

You fucking surly, invertebrate beep. I'll rip your balls off and feed them to your delitable mother!

[Umnir]

I'll saw your asshole shut and keep feeding you, keep feeding you until KABLAW!

[Panoptic Blur]

I'll pull your intestines out through your anus and then tie them around the rear axle of the car and hit the gas pedal. All your internal organs will vacate your body instantly with a massize schlupping sound which you won't hear because your eardrums are stuck in the exhaust pipe.